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Primary Research and Evaluation of the Asshole Theory.
Background
The asshole theory has been around since the early ages, however it has never been spoken of or evaluated until now. The idea was originally brought forth by Conor Pilz (Strathcona 2000-2002, Concordia 2002-Present) a fellow peer of mine. His girlfriend at the time could not resist him and kept providing him with sexual favors. Upon close observation I noted that some days he was nice (defined here as casual conversation, hugging, talking on phone etc.) and others he was an asshole (defined as any actions that provoke negative sentiment from the opposite sex.). My curiosity was piqued. How was it that a guy could treat a girl so nicely and get nothing from her, yet Conor can treat a girl like an asshole and continually get pussy?
Object
The object of this experiment was to determine if the asshole theory actually works and if so what is the right balance between “asshole” and nice guy. This will be determined in terms of a) quantity of pussy
b) quality of pussy (an arbitrary committee of 5 will discretely evaluate the quality of pussy therefore allowing an unbiased opinion. The classic hotnest scale (1-10)will be used.)
Theory
If done properly the asshole theory will guarantee pussy. Initiate contact with the target and allow (depending on the situation) a time period where you are nice. Once the contact is established and cemented into consistent meetings the asshole theory can now take place. Note: Initial niceness MUST occur before being an asshole so that the female knows and understands there is some sentiment in the male. This sentiment will be what she will be seeking during the asshole phase. The asshole phase has too many components to list, however common belief on what constitutes asshole typically will work.
Procedure
Two locations with random subjects have been chosen for the experiment.
English class girl (ECG)
A Bar slut (BS)
Following the theory the procedure will be carried out as follows:
Initiate contact. If subject (In this case girl) is not going to be seen consistently email or phone contacts must be exchanged.
Follow through with contact and nice guy tactics.
Once nice guy sentiment is felt with the subject asshole tactics come through.
When girl has reached her “Asshole threshold” (A theoretical state of mind where she feels she can no longer tolerate you and may terminate the relationship) re-establish nice guy image.
Data
Data will be listed in terms of days and by individual subject.
Subject 1 ECG (Macrocosm)
Upon the beginning of a new semester potential targets were scoped out in classes. English proved to be a valid stomping ground due to its small size and proximity to targets. The first few days were spent looking good, ignoring the target, and attempting to draw attention to one self without looking obnoxious or interested i.e: make short, smart, witty or comical comments in class. The idea behind the comments is to be quiet all class yet ensure something is said to stand out in the mind of the subject.
Day 1: Came to class late. Sat by self, and did not even open books. However did make a comment about English literature and impressed the teacher with intellect. ECG turned and smiled. She was ignored.
Day 2: First day working on essay topics. Groups needed to be formed. Sat by self once more and waited for ECG to be isolated without a group. Purposely asked an ugly girl to be in my group, and then asked ECG to come in (This is a variant of the “Ball is in my court theory”. The forefront thing on her mind is why did he ask the ugly girl first, and as an afterthought or even a pity thought, ask her to join group).
Day 3: ECG sits beside me. Am now moving into “nice guy mode”. Group work once again, talked to her all class about anything but English. The subject now knows a bit about myself, yet left a bit to the unknown (mystery factor). Contact is now firmly established and subject knows I am a nice guy. When leaving class, left with her but went in opposite direction. I said goodbye and gave half smile. Did not check for reciprocation. Did not look back.
Day 4: Asshole tactics in place. Sat beside her so she expects more conversation. However did not even talk, yet I didn’t look interested in class either. Halfway through gave her a bored look and left early. Did not even say goodbye.
Day 5: Asshole tactics in full effect. Sat one seat away from her, beside ugly girl from day 2. Acted interested in ugly girl, but not in ECG. Left class early once again. Said goodbye to ugly girl but not ECG. ECG is now wondering why I no longer talk to her. Now she will be thinking about me until next class which is next week, lots of reflection time.
Day 6: Nice guy back in effect. I Sit next to her in class. She looks like she is happy to see that attention is now thrust on her. Something else will thrust on her tonite. Ask her to the club. She comes. Pussy ensues. At the club the peer evaluation takes place. She is rated as an 8.5, pretty good quality of pussy.
Subject 2: BS (Microcosm)
Bar slut is the trickiest to apply the asshole to. Applied properly she will suck a dick tonite (your dick). The problem is in the fact that in a bar she is surrounded by plenty of dick. The line is very thinly walked because if you are an asshole to her she can turn her head and find another dick to suck (not your dick). This data is recorded in terms of hours due to time constraints in a bar.
Hour 1: Arrive at bar early, get a booth. I am dressed appropriately to draw attention and pussy. Scoped for bar slut by seeing who is wearing the least amount of clothing and dancing the earliest (these actions are referred to as “setting up early”). Target found. She was wearing a mini skirt, too much makeup and a low cut shirt that says “Princess.”
Note: Girls who wear shirts with titles that are supposed to reflect on their personality give them a high slut probability.
Hour 2: In booth sat in chair closest to dance floor. Had friends around booth that seemed to be enjoying themselves, acted annoyed and spent time looking not at them, but at the dance floor. Ensured that BS noted that I appeared annoyed, aiming for pussy and wished to start dancing.
Hour 3: Ordered a round of drinks for table, appeared to be in a lighter mood and also generous and friendly (nice guy phase). Invited her over because some of my friends left to play pool. She brings a friend, (Known as grenade) this is expected. Had my pre- discussed wingman waiting on the sidelines ready to jump on the grenade to up my chances of getting BS alone without grenade. After a few drinks invited BS to dance. Ensue grinding. Contact is now established. She realized that I am her best chance for a deep dicking that night.
Hour 4: Asshole must be put into effect. This process must be quick and done completely by feel. It was up to me to judge how much asshole to use. In this case I used the bathroom excuse and left for 10 minutes. Following bathroom didn’t go looking for her, instead went to see friends and sit back at table. She noted this. DID NOT make contact until she came to see me (Ball in my court).
Hour 5: BS is now at my table, but I am just making jokes with my friends, not including her in on the conversation. I showed a small sign of niceness, by introducing her to my friends. She was confused. I bought myself another drink, and as an afterthought bought her one. I brought the drinks over and began nice guy phase once again. My wingman looks pissed.
Hour 6: Dancing with BS and having fun, she has dicking on her mind now. Once I saw that dicking was in her eyes I asked her to leave. She declined. (Ball is now in her court). However I did not let up. I act as if it “ain’t no thang” and kept dancing. Bought her another 75 cent drink (cheap drinks let the BS know what you think of her and how much you think she’s worth).
Hour 7: Bar is closing. She has no ride home. She asks me for a ride home, I look reluctant, and have to see if there is room in my car. When I came back, she was leaving with a bigger guy who had a nicer car. Come up to her and say I can’t give her a ride because my friends want more room (Leave with dignity and ball in my court because she is not worth taking up space).
Discussion
The theory worked well when used in a macrocosm where more time is available. Theory does match up with macrocosm, however not with the microcosm. This is directly related to the time scale. It is then concluded that time is an essential part of the asshole theory.
Conclusion
The asshole theory did work to get me pussy in one situation. I feel that it can only be applied when a time scale of a few days minimum is available. The theory would then be at its strongest in an actual relationship. This is where series’ of asshole “cycles” can take place to ensure a consistent base of pussy. The shorter the time scale the lower the probability of pussy, and different tactics must be applied. In the Bar slut experiement I feel that I inficted too much asshole, and did not get pussy because of this. I felt that in this experiment there were too many variables to be controlled. However since the theory is only applicable in real life situations these variables must be taken into consideration. I found that the theory will work 100% if done properly in the right light.
References
Pilz, Conor H.S., PhD Soc. Sci., (Strathcona 2000-2002 Concordia 2002-)
Skinner, Tom ARA (Comosun 2000-, theoretical analogist)
Donnan, Chris (Strathcona 2000-2002, education not needed, born pimp).
Holland. Eric (Okotoks 2000-2002, all ‘round asshole, consistent form).
_________________ If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pu$$y to drink it.
Location: Hartford, CT (with a bottle of guinness)
DHJUNKIE wrote:
hahaha
...I hope you took notes on that.
_________________ Trouble, adventure and loads of fun...
--------------------------------------------------------
Down Cycles
2015 Albany Post Road
Croton-On-Hudson, NY 10520
(914) 827-9570
Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2003 11:55 pm
Anthony
Kingpin
Joined: Sep 7, 2002
Posts: 3951
Location: golden, co
asshole is a compliment now
_________________ more spendin, more taxes, more money for our military actions
Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2003 12:03 am
Lady Gravity
Bomber
Joined: Dec 3, 2002
Posts: 62
Location: BIKE HEAVEN, BC
HAHAHAHA OMG now all is explained to me
Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2003 3:04 am
Dingo
Dingo
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 3939
Location: Hartford, CT (with a bottle of guinness)
Lady Gravity wrote:
HAHAHAHA OMG now all is explained to me
...I could've told you that you need to post more. All you had to do was ask.....
_________________ Trouble, adventure and loads of fun...
--------------------------------------------------------
Down Cycles
2015 Albany Post Road
Croton-On-Hudson, NY 10520
(914) 827-9570
Re: The asshole theory
Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2004 1:17 pm
lumps
Burner
Joined: Mar 23, 2004
Posts: 440
Location: Buffalo, NY
that was classic.... def. better than actually working at work...
_________________ dude, seriously, i was totally gettin' with this one hot chick i met down at the porn parlor, ooh she was checkin' out my
package all day, then we got back to my place, i made her some chili, long story short, MY HAND'S ON FIRE! man, ya gotta help me!
Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2004 1:43 pm
--={5U8N3T}=--
All-City
Joined: Jun 13, 2003
Posts: 519
Location: exit 4 NJTP, sicklerville NJ
i have actual experience with this theory.
i was banging this chic but we wern't serious. i was in nice guy mode with her to be able to bang her after late night drinking sessions. after several encounters i grew tired of her. i didn't have the heart to tell her nicely that i didn't want to see her anymore so i thought if i was an asshole towards her she would drop me, and it would be over. but it seemed the more of an asshole i was to her, the more she wanted to be with me.
then i banged her friend and that did the trick.
_________________ it's not who goes the fastest, but who gets to the bottom first.
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